This is going to be a completely different post than I normally do. But I feel like I need to write it, not only for myself but for others to understand. I also have more than one part to this series, so I hope you enjoy it.
The end of last year was actually one of the lowest moments of my life. My heart was broken in half and I felt like I had nothing left. I sat most mornings on the bus to work staring out the window, tears falling down my face, and honestly not knowing what to do with myself. I didn’t sleep, eat or do anything I enjoyed.
I felt whenever I messaged close friends and family that I was bothering them, and that I was a hinderance as I was so miserable but needed the company.
Then something happened, that I was not expecting.
I had this weird moment of self acceptance, self love and felt that maybe this mopeing around was just going to get me nowhere. Instead I put my pain into my art (makeup) and it turned into one of the most proudest pieces I have ever created. Not only that but Nyx Professional Makeup reposted me on their instagram. It made me realise that I was on the right path. Not only that, but I randomly downloaded the app Tinder, which if you know me; the thought of it makes me cringe.
So I downloaded it and started swiping.
I have a certain type when it comes to men,
The list is as follows:
- broad shoulders
- Basically a viking
So I came across a guy called Georg, who was from Norway; he ticked all of the above.
We have been talking ever since and as I write this, I am in the lobby of his apartment.
Morale of the story is I honestly believe that things happen for a reason.
I was meant to get my heart broken,
I was meant to be on my own to realise my own worth,
I was meant to hit rock bottom, so that I could grow into the person I always wanted to be.
And now I couldn’t be happier.
Even though my mental health feels like it is now on the right path, my physical health isn’t doing as well. So in the past two weeks I have passed out 7 times, I have been having tension headaches that are so painful I cant even open my eyes. I am currently having tests done and I am waiting for the results, however speaking to the nurse; she told me it sounds like my body is basically so stressed the only way of dealing with it is shutting down. Which obviously is not great, but I am taking the right steps to get my health on the right track. Will update you guys when I have found out more.
If you take anything from this,
Just remember to look after yourself, drink plenty of water, take a brisk walk, run up them stairs, laugh at bad jokes, take photos of the sunrises, hold hands and just enjoy yourself.
Lots of love